The question "how can I save my marriage?" is asked by millions of people each year. The fact is, marriage is work and it does not often come without its battle scars. When you commit to another person, making that commitment work involves a certain level of investment. People change and things happen, and to make a marriage work you must be fully committed to doing what it takes to repair your relationship when problems arise.
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It can be overwhelming, at first, to consider the many areas where the relationship is not working, and the possibilities that would result if you split up. Knowing where to begin is always difficult. By this time, there may have been so many negative interactions that it's hard to get back to the core issues. Know that time is required to address each issue, and show your partner it has been addressed. The problems didn't arise overnight, and it will take time to sort them out and work through each one. Regardless of the outcome, going through this process will help you in the future, with this or other relationships.
The best strategy to the question "how can I save my marriage?" usually includes a lot of patience and forgiveness, both of yourself and your partner. Applying pressure to either of you rarely helps the situation. Rather, focus on learning to communicate better, and practice good listening skills. Criticism is not helpful - instead, focus on all the positive elements in your partner and the relationship. Become an example for your partner and others to follow. This is the best way to allow and encourage change in others, rather than requesting or requiring it. Bringing up the past is not usually helpful. Instead, focus on the present, and on what you can do yourself to make it the best it can be.
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By: Roberta Claus
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
Did You Know God Ordained Marriage From the Very Beginning?
The Mayor of San Francisco California recently decided that he would okay same sex relationships. I do not say marriage because marriage is a covenant agreement with God. If you have read the Bible it is quite clear that God does not accept or condone these types of relationships. God created us to live our lives daily centered on Him. God wants His children to have an intimate personal relationship with Him. When we obey His Word we grow spiritually. There are many types of religions. But there is only one true God. Just about anything goes when you are religious. Just having a religious experience is not the same thing. Let's further look at God's design for marriage. Let's take a look as well at what is going on in San Francisco. Do you think this is acceptable?
Did you know that from the very beginning God ordained marriage? He intended for marriage to be a committed covenant relationship. Adam was first created from the elements of the earth. God actually made Eve from a part of Adam's body, to be by his side as his help mate. In today's lingual this simply means companion. He told them to be fruitful and multiply. It is within the marriage union that two become one spiritually. God's only design for marriage consists of one man and one woman. What is happening in San Francisco further distorts God's design for marriage. Marriage between man and woman is the only type of marriage that God ordains. When the world's principles are adopted we begin to drift further away from God's principles. We must not compromise God's principles. God loved us so much that He created us in His image. Marriage ordained by God is sacred. As Christians we really need to think about how much we truly value what God has to say about marriage and family.
I realize that in 2004 that just about anything goes in the world. It is becoming increasingly evident that many are confused about what God has to say about marriage. Accepting same sex marriages is not exercising unconditional love. We as Christians say we have committed to Jesus being the way, truth and the life? Or have we? Or is it okay when a majority of people decide to go along with whatever? God has already spoken quite clearly. God will not lead anyone to do anything wrong or contrary to His Word. Many are being mislead. As a Christian you need to daily include the Word of God in your spiritual diet. This is why the Lord's Prayer tells us "Give us today our daily bread." This also why God told Peter three times to "feed His Sheep." What you eat spiritually is vitally important. When one adopts a daily spiritual meal of the Word you will grow stronger spiritually. This will actually help you to navigate properly in the world. Your desire to embrace what God has to say about marriage, life and living. will increase. When situations such as in San Francisco arise you will be able to recognize that this is not in line with God's Word.
The world says you can have as many marriages as you please? Just make sure you get divorced. But God says that divorce occurs once one's heart has hardened. Actually they are no longer open to working things out with the spouse to whom they have made a commitment. Many never resolve the bitterness that they experienced in an unsuccessful marriage. Many times they divorce because they really do not understand what God has said in regards to marriage. God's Word talks about a hardened heart. People who have divorced know first hand what a hardened heart feels like. This is why it is so important to make sure that when you decide to marry someone you are committed. Make sure that you are aware your covenant is not only with your spouse but with God. Many people treat others better than they do their very own spouse. Marriage is an excellent opportunity to experience and ever increasing God centered love. God is love. God is eternal. The traditional wedding vows says "I pledge thee my troth" Troth means fidelity, faithfulness, loyalty and honestly. God honors integrity in marriage. God will and can teach you how to guard your heart in lieu of having a hardened heart experience.
You can branch www.richempire.com for some money.
Christian marriage & family values are often set aside. Today, due to the many broken marriages it is not often you can find a family with both biological parents and children. When same sex relationships are embraced it mocks God's design for marriage. What do you mean? Same sex relationships should not receive the same recognition or benefits of marriage. This is why marriage is called Holy Matrimony. Holy means to be set apart for God! The truth is many have compromised God's principles and begun to conform to the world. God's original plan for marriage and family has not changed. Parents should instill in their children God's principles for marriage. This does not mean that He does not accept families that are blended. Just know that there are additional relational dynamics that are experienced in the blended family. Read the story of Abraham and Sarah. Look closely at what happened between Ishmael and Isaac this is an excellent example of what happens when we do things contrary to what God says. The story of Joseph and his brothers is another example. Always remember God has all power He is always able to bring about healing in all and any situation.
Many times as a child of God you must forego acceptance .You must be willing to confront, resolve, acknowledge, repent and move forward whenever conflict arises. Sweeping things under the rug causes one to walk in denial. If too much time goes by this actually allows the facts often to become distorted. God really does have an effective resolution process. When you stand on God's principles you never stand alone. God will never forsake you. God allows many things to happen. God wants to build our character. God wants us to instill in our children His principles. Jesus Christ is a solid rock! When you are rooted and grounded in His Word you will be spiritually grounded. The storms of life will not uproot you when your foundation is on the Lord. Life is a continual quest of spiritual growth. Spiritual warfare is a part of spiritual growth. God has said that those who live by His Word will be persecuted. There will always be those who will attempt to discredit you when you take a stand for what is right. Just make sure that your stance is anchored upon truth. You do not have to force God on anyone. God allows the freedom of choice. Remember it is not how things appear. God knows how they are really. It is vitally important to consult God when you desire to marry. We must learn to discipline ourselves to respond in a way that pleases God. It is very important to be absolutely sure that you KNOW you are a child of God. When you know for sure you are a child of God no one, nobody or nothing can ever change that; no matter what! This is why we must encourage others to faithfully study God's Word. We should willingly encourage others whenever possible to embrace God's design for marriage. We must go a step further and obey what His Word has to say. We have a spiritual and ethical responsibility to resolve life's challenges His way. Trials are a part of life. When you focus on God He will shower His grace upon you even in the midst of a storm, test or trial.
In 2004 God's plan for marriage has not changed. God has said that "pure and undefiled religion is to visit the widows and the orphans and to keep yourself unspotted from the world." God said to "go ye therefore into the world...." The world will continue to change. God has said that it will continue to ignore what He has to say. It will continue to say anything goes. You can't if you are a Christian. Everyone will have to give an account to God. I want to encourage you today to make, repent or renew your commitment to the Lord. Move beyond saying you are a Christian. The Lord wants you to make a difference wherever you are. Jesus was criticized for being different. It is okay to be different. God says that His children are peculiar. He tells us to be "as wise as a serpent, but as harmless as a dove." He will give you peace in the midst of a world that constantly turns their back on Him. God's design for His children for marriage and living has not changed. God's Word is true! He still wants to be the center of our life, family and worship!
In 2004 should there be a difference? Yes, especially in the lives of His children. God's children should make a difference. God's children should stand on His Word! If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything! The world at large does not want to hear what God has to say! That is why He has provided us with a Savior! Jesus was grossly misunderstood, constantly ridiculed, persecuted and brutally beaten. But this did not stop Jesus from being about His Father's business. He did not lose focus. John the Baptist went about crying "Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand." He was beheaded at the request of Herodias' daughter because her mother was angry that He simply told the truth. (Read the story for yourself) Stephen was stoned because He stood for what was right. The Apostle Paul stood for what was right. He too was mistreated and imprisoned and later crucified upside down. These are a few of many. Jesus was crucified! Why? He not only spoke truth, He was the Truth! I want to encourage you to really know Jesus and the power of His resurrection for yourself!
Desire to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. Romans tell us we are not condemned when we walk in the Spirit. Let Jesus be your example. Just remember that Jesus was not violent. Many times Jesus did not respond at all. The Bible even says there were times when He said nothing at all. Jesus was aware that they were trying to discredit Him. Yet, He went about doing the will of His Father. He consistently stood His ground by being obedient. Would Jesus say because it is 2004 God's design for marriage has changed? Would Jesus say it is okay to marry someone of the same sex? Would He agree with what many call unconditional love? Can you truly love someone else and not sincerely know God? I do not think so! Perhaps instead we should say you have what I call "intoxicating affections" instead? When you have truly experienced love you will know the difference! God's true love is thoroughly described in I Corinthians 13. Take some time and really check it out. Please do not read it for the sake of reading. Just really take a personal examination. One on one with the Holy Spirit. God today and everyday wants to be the center of our life. He wants you to know His Word and the power of His resurrection so you will not be tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine.
The world at large in 2004 is in chaos. Any and everything goes. Look around and see if the overall quality of life has improved? There is just about every kind of religion and/or organization that you can think of. But are you really growing spiritually? Not every congregation has God as their center of worship. A few are merely social groups filled with cliques. On the other hand there are many who sincerely love the Lord. There are many congregations that are truly Biblically sound and Spirit filled. They know what it means when we say "I've been washed by the blood of Jesus". Sin does not have to reign in the life of the Christian. Spiritual growth yields discipline. When situations arise we should seek to resolve conflicts or differences in a Godly manner. Be encouraged! The Spirit of God's power is evident in many multifaceted worship services. God loved us enough to allow us to choose? When Adam and Eve sinned He could have just said "too bad". No redemption from sin. No way back to Him. But instead He allowed His Son to come and live a sinless life that we might have a way back to Him!
The newly elected San Francisco Mayor has decided to allow same sex marriages. How ironic, God allows the freedom to be wrong. The chaos in the world is the result of the many decisions that did not include God. This week the city of San Francisco allowed numerous couples of the same sex to participate in a ceremony. San Jose has embraced this idea as well. This goes in complete opposition to what God says in the Bible. Once we claim to have accepted Christ as our Savior it really does matter how we live? This is why it is so important not to conform. We are to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Is it possible to live a God centered life in today's time? I think so! Of course there will be consequences. You will still have trials, pain, sorrow and grief. But in the midst of it all you will have peace and joy that surpasses the understanding of man. You will be labeled and misunderstood. But you must remember that Jesus who never sinned was greatly misunderstood. His character too was maligned. Did you know Jesus' accusers did not even honestly and openly face Him? Due to their own insecurity they plotted secretly. They allowed false witnesses to justify their unwarranted accusations. They desired to undermine His influence and credibility.
Character is who you are when nobody but God is watching! Jesus really did show us a better non violent way! I am so thankful that God is watching over all of us! I am really thankful to know that He has everything under His control. He has promised that He will not allow more in our lives than we can handle. God's true CHURCH really needs to be in prayer! This is why He says to "pray unceasingly." What we see in San Francisco & San Jose is just a sampling of what is yet to come. What we see happening all around us is God's Word being fulfilled. You see the world does not embrace morality or God's design for marriage, living and the family. Yet everyone wants to go to heaven where God's will is done daily 24/7. Many are deceived. There is a way to be absolutely sure! God has given us a choice. You can choose His way or the world's way! In 2004 it is all about your choice? Do your thing? Right? Wrong! The right choice is to choose Jesus Christ as your Savior. To adopt His principles for, life, marriage and family. Remember, what God has joined together let not man put asunder. Who is your family? Jesus says, "Those who do the will of the Father."
By Deborrah K. Ogans
Did you know that from the very beginning God ordained marriage? He intended for marriage to be a committed covenant relationship. Adam was first created from the elements of the earth. God actually made Eve from a part of Adam's body, to be by his side as his help mate. In today's lingual this simply means companion. He told them to be fruitful and multiply. It is within the marriage union that two become one spiritually. God's only design for marriage consists of one man and one woman. What is happening in San Francisco further distorts God's design for marriage. Marriage between man and woman is the only type of marriage that God ordains. When the world's principles are adopted we begin to drift further away from God's principles. We must not compromise God's principles. God loved us so much that He created us in His image. Marriage ordained by God is sacred. As Christians we really need to think about how much we truly value what God has to say about marriage and family.
I realize that in 2004 that just about anything goes in the world. It is becoming increasingly evident that many are confused about what God has to say about marriage. Accepting same sex marriages is not exercising unconditional love. We as Christians say we have committed to Jesus being the way, truth and the life? Or have we? Or is it okay when a majority of people decide to go along with whatever? God has already spoken quite clearly. God will not lead anyone to do anything wrong or contrary to His Word. Many are being mislead. As a Christian you need to daily include the Word of God in your spiritual diet. This is why the Lord's Prayer tells us "Give us today our daily bread." This also why God told Peter three times to "feed His Sheep." What you eat spiritually is vitally important. When one adopts a daily spiritual meal of the Word you will grow stronger spiritually. This will actually help you to navigate properly in the world. Your desire to embrace what God has to say about marriage, life and living. will increase. When situations such as in San Francisco arise you will be able to recognize that this is not in line with God's Word.
The world says you can have as many marriages as you please? Just make sure you get divorced. But God says that divorce occurs once one's heart has hardened. Actually they are no longer open to working things out with the spouse to whom they have made a commitment. Many never resolve the bitterness that they experienced in an unsuccessful marriage. Many times they divorce because they really do not understand what God has said in regards to marriage. God's Word talks about a hardened heart. People who have divorced know first hand what a hardened heart feels like. This is why it is so important to make sure that when you decide to marry someone you are committed. Make sure that you are aware your covenant is not only with your spouse but with God. Many people treat others better than they do their very own spouse. Marriage is an excellent opportunity to experience and ever increasing God centered love. God is love. God is eternal. The traditional wedding vows says "I pledge thee my troth" Troth means fidelity, faithfulness, loyalty and honestly. God honors integrity in marriage. God will and can teach you how to guard your heart in lieu of having a hardened heart experience.
You can branch www.richempire.com for some money.
Christian marriage & family values are often set aside. Today, due to the many broken marriages it is not often you can find a family with both biological parents and children. When same sex relationships are embraced it mocks God's design for marriage. What do you mean? Same sex relationships should not receive the same recognition or benefits of marriage. This is why marriage is called Holy Matrimony. Holy means to be set apart for God! The truth is many have compromised God's principles and begun to conform to the world. God's original plan for marriage and family has not changed. Parents should instill in their children God's principles for marriage. This does not mean that He does not accept families that are blended. Just know that there are additional relational dynamics that are experienced in the blended family. Read the story of Abraham and Sarah. Look closely at what happened between Ishmael and Isaac this is an excellent example of what happens when we do things contrary to what God says. The story of Joseph and his brothers is another example. Always remember God has all power He is always able to bring about healing in all and any situation.
Many times as a child of God you must forego acceptance .You must be willing to confront, resolve, acknowledge, repent and move forward whenever conflict arises. Sweeping things under the rug causes one to walk in denial. If too much time goes by this actually allows the facts often to become distorted. God really does have an effective resolution process. When you stand on God's principles you never stand alone. God will never forsake you. God allows many things to happen. God wants to build our character. God wants us to instill in our children His principles. Jesus Christ is a solid rock! When you are rooted and grounded in His Word you will be spiritually grounded. The storms of life will not uproot you when your foundation is on the Lord. Life is a continual quest of spiritual growth. Spiritual warfare is a part of spiritual growth. God has said that those who live by His Word will be persecuted. There will always be those who will attempt to discredit you when you take a stand for what is right. Just make sure that your stance is anchored upon truth. You do not have to force God on anyone. God allows the freedom of choice. Remember it is not how things appear. God knows how they are really. It is vitally important to consult God when you desire to marry. We must learn to discipline ourselves to respond in a way that pleases God. It is very important to be absolutely sure that you KNOW you are a child of God. When you know for sure you are a child of God no one, nobody or nothing can ever change that; no matter what! This is why we must encourage others to faithfully study God's Word. We should willingly encourage others whenever possible to embrace God's design for marriage. We must go a step further and obey what His Word has to say. We have a spiritual and ethical responsibility to resolve life's challenges His way. Trials are a part of life. When you focus on God He will shower His grace upon you even in the midst of a storm, test or trial.
In 2004 God's plan for marriage has not changed. God has said that "pure and undefiled religion is to visit the widows and the orphans and to keep yourself unspotted from the world." God said to "go ye therefore into the world...." The world will continue to change. God has said that it will continue to ignore what He has to say. It will continue to say anything goes. You can't if you are a Christian. Everyone will have to give an account to God. I want to encourage you today to make, repent or renew your commitment to the Lord. Move beyond saying you are a Christian. The Lord wants you to make a difference wherever you are. Jesus was criticized for being different. It is okay to be different. God says that His children are peculiar. He tells us to be "as wise as a serpent, but as harmless as a dove." He will give you peace in the midst of a world that constantly turns their back on Him. God's design for His children for marriage and living has not changed. God's Word is true! He still wants to be the center of our life, family and worship!
In 2004 should there be a difference? Yes, especially in the lives of His children. God's children should make a difference. God's children should stand on His Word! If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything! The world at large does not want to hear what God has to say! That is why He has provided us with a Savior! Jesus was grossly misunderstood, constantly ridiculed, persecuted and brutally beaten. But this did not stop Jesus from being about His Father's business. He did not lose focus. John the Baptist went about crying "Repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand." He was beheaded at the request of Herodias' daughter because her mother was angry that He simply told the truth. (Read the story for yourself) Stephen was stoned because He stood for what was right. The Apostle Paul stood for what was right. He too was mistreated and imprisoned and later crucified upside down. These are a few of many. Jesus was crucified! Why? He not only spoke truth, He was the Truth! I want to encourage you to really know Jesus and the power of His resurrection for yourself!
Desire to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. Romans tell us we are not condemned when we walk in the Spirit. Let Jesus be your example. Just remember that Jesus was not violent. Many times Jesus did not respond at all. The Bible even says there were times when He said nothing at all. Jesus was aware that they were trying to discredit Him. Yet, He went about doing the will of His Father. He consistently stood His ground by being obedient. Would Jesus say because it is 2004 God's design for marriage has changed? Would Jesus say it is okay to marry someone of the same sex? Would He agree with what many call unconditional love? Can you truly love someone else and not sincerely know God? I do not think so! Perhaps instead we should say you have what I call "intoxicating affections" instead? When you have truly experienced love you will know the difference! God's true love is thoroughly described in I Corinthians 13. Take some time and really check it out. Please do not read it for the sake of reading. Just really take a personal examination. One on one with the Holy Spirit. God today and everyday wants to be the center of our life. He wants you to know His Word and the power of His resurrection so you will not be tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine.
The world at large in 2004 is in chaos. Any and everything goes. Look around and see if the overall quality of life has improved? There is just about every kind of religion and/or organization that you can think of. But are you really growing spiritually? Not every congregation has God as their center of worship. A few are merely social groups filled with cliques. On the other hand there are many who sincerely love the Lord. There are many congregations that are truly Biblically sound and Spirit filled. They know what it means when we say "I've been washed by the blood of Jesus". Sin does not have to reign in the life of the Christian. Spiritual growth yields discipline. When situations arise we should seek to resolve conflicts or differences in a Godly manner. Be encouraged! The Spirit of God's power is evident in many multifaceted worship services. God loved us enough to allow us to choose? When Adam and Eve sinned He could have just said "too bad". No redemption from sin. No way back to Him. But instead He allowed His Son to come and live a sinless life that we might have a way back to Him!
The newly elected San Francisco Mayor has decided to allow same sex marriages. How ironic, God allows the freedom to be wrong. The chaos in the world is the result of the many decisions that did not include God. This week the city of San Francisco allowed numerous couples of the same sex to participate in a ceremony. San Jose has embraced this idea as well. This goes in complete opposition to what God says in the Bible. Once we claim to have accepted Christ as our Savior it really does matter how we live? This is why it is so important not to conform. We are to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Is it possible to live a God centered life in today's time? I think so! Of course there will be consequences. You will still have trials, pain, sorrow and grief. But in the midst of it all you will have peace and joy that surpasses the understanding of man. You will be labeled and misunderstood. But you must remember that Jesus who never sinned was greatly misunderstood. His character too was maligned. Did you know Jesus' accusers did not even honestly and openly face Him? Due to their own insecurity they plotted secretly. They allowed false witnesses to justify their unwarranted accusations. They desired to undermine His influence and credibility.
Character is who you are when nobody but God is watching! Jesus really did show us a better non violent way! I am so thankful that God is watching over all of us! I am really thankful to know that He has everything under His control. He has promised that He will not allow more in our lives than we can handle. God's true CHURCH really needs to be in prayer! This is why He says to "pray unceasingly." What we see in San Francisco & San Jose is just a sampling of what is yet to come. What we see happening all around us is God's Word being fulfilled. You see the world does not embrace morality or God's design for marriage, living and the family. Yet everyone wants to go to heaven where God's will is done daily 24/7. Many are deceived. There is a way to be absolutely sure! God has given us a choice. You can choose His way or the world's way! In 2004 it is all about your choice? Do your thing? Right? Wrong! The right choice is to choose Jesus Christ as your Savior. To adopt His principles for, life, marriage and family. Remember, what God has joined together let not man put asunder. Who is your family? Jesus says, "Those who do the will of the Father."
By Deborrah K. Ogans
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
How To Make Your Husband Fall In Love With You Again
Whoever said marriage isn't easy was spot on. It takes a lot of effort and team work to make a long term relationship work. Many couples find themselves drifting apart after a few years of marriage. A woman may begin to wonder whether her husband still has the same intense feelings of deep adoration he once did for her. If you are experiencing this now you may be wondering if you can make your husband fall in love all over again. You can. You just need to follow a few simple tips and stay focused on how important your marriage is to you.
One of the reasons married couples often drift apart is all the outside demands on their time. If you are a woman who is immersed in her responsibilities of being a mom, and on her career, you may have unintentionally stopped paying as close attention to your husband. Men are more insightful than many women recognize, and if you have been putting your husband at the bottom of your attention list, he likely has noticed. It can really impact his feelings for you so it's important to make more time for him. One of the best ways to do this is to plan some time away from everything for the two of you. It doesn't have to be an entire weekend even one evening once in a while can do wonders for the dynamic of the relationship. Make him a priority in your life, and he'll be smitten with you all over again.
Please try to make some dough in www.richempire.com
As women, we also tend to put ourselves near the bottom of the list when it comes to attention and time. Men love interesting women who pursue their own dreams and needs. If you've been putting off going back to school or getting back into shape after the birth of your children, now is the time to do it. In order to make your husband fall in love with you again, you have to become the woman he initially fell for. There's a very good chance that when you two met, you had a rich, full life aside from him. Try to rediscover your own passions and he'll find that incredibly appealing.
It's also so important to treat him in the way you want to be treated. Be kind and considerate and go out of your way to do the things you know he appreciates. If your husband has a very stressful job, do all you can to make his time at home peaceful and calming. If you know that he enjoys a particular sport, arrange for him to spend an evening at a game with a buddy, or set him up for a round of golf at a local green. If you want to make your husband fall in love with you again, show him just how much he still means to you. Men need a reminder of that every now and again as well.
Specific things you say and do can make your husband feel helplessly drawn to you. If you are still just as crazy about him as the day you two first met, there are things you can do to ensure he always only has eyes for you. For more informative tips about understanding men including a way to get him to fall deeply in love with you all over again, visit this Helpful Site!
Make minimum of $50 daily in www.massivegold.com
By Gillian Reynolds
One of the reasons married couples often drift apart is all the outside demands on their time. If you are a woman who is immersed in her responsibilities of being a mom, and on her career, you may have unintentionally stopped paying as close attention to your husband. Men are more insightful than many women recognize, and if you have been putting your husband at the bottom of your attention list, he likely has noticed. It can really impact his feelings for you so it's important to make more time for him. One of the best ways to do this is to plan some time away from everything for the two of you. It doesn't have to be an entire weekend even one evening once in a while can do wonders for the dynamic of the relationship. Make him a priority in your life, and he'll be smitten with you all over again.
Please try to make some dough in www.richempire.com
As women, we also tend to put ourselves near the bottom of the list when it comes to attention and time. Men love interesting women who pursue their own dreams and needs. If you've been putting off going back to school or getting back into shape after the birth of your children, now is the time to do it. In order to make your husband fall in love with you again, you have to become the woman he initially fell for. There's a very good chance that when you two met, you had a rich, full life aside from him. Try to rediscover your own passions and he'll find that incredibly appealing.
It's also so important to treat him in the way you want to be treated. Be kind and considerate and go out of your way to do the things you know he appreciates. If your husband has a very stressful job, do all you can to make his time at home peaceful and calming. If you know that he enjoys a particular sport, arrange for him to spend an evening at a game with a buddy, or set him up for a round of golf at a local green. If you want to make your husband fall in love with you again, show him just how much he still means to you. Men need a reminder of that every now and again as well.
Specific things you say and do can make your husband feel helplessly drawn to you. If you are still just as crazy about him as the day you two first met, there are things you can do to ensure he always only has eyes for you. For more informative tips about understanding men including a way to get him to fall deeply in love with you all over again, visit this Helpful Site!
Make minimum of $50 daily in www.massivegold.com
By Gillian Reynolds
How to Make Your Marriage Work - 8 Essential Ingredients That You Need For a Wonderful Marriage
Is it really possible to keep a marriage happy ever after?
A great marriage is always something you will have to work at. And it is not only you. Both of the partners need to be willing to work at it. You will need lots of tender loving care to keep your relationship fresh and exciting. The chances that your relationship will be able to survive are a lot higher if both of you are ready to give and receive.
8 Tips on how to make your marriage work:
1. Learn how to communicate effectively. It doesn't matter if you just got married or if it has been a long time since you two started out - this will build a strong relationship. Always listen carefully to your partner and try to be able to comprehend what they are telling you. While talking to each other, give full attention to the conversation. It will help you greatly to understand them, when you are looking each other in the eyes when having a conversation. It is not enough to just listen to them. Always reveal through your behavior that you have clearly understood everything said.
2. Do not make the mistake to assume that you know how your partner thinks about something. It doesn't mean if you like to do something, that they want to do it with you. Ask them! Don't automatically assume they volunteer to do something with you, that you would like. Ask them first! Never forget to be so thoughtful to see if they would like to do it.
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3. Compliment them when you see them doing something nice. When you see him/her doing something nice, tell them - I got you! Then proceed to thank them for doing such a wonderful thing and tell them how much you appreciate it. Showing thankfulness will give your relationship an amazing boost. When you make the effort of showing your partner that they make you happy with something, you will be finding that they will repeat doing nice things.
4. Is there something that you both enjoy doing? Then do it at least one time a week together. Go to the cinema, take a course together, go walking, swimming of whatever you like. Find any interests that you can share and do these things often.
5. Be the best friend of your partner. Cheer them on when they are working toward something they want. Hold their hand when they need it and give them a shoulder to cry on. Reveal your dreams to them, share your goals and try to work together. Let them know you are proud of them when they accomplish goals.
6. Never neglect your partner. Don't get so wrapped up in your own life that you completely forget the everyday niceties. Hug and kiss them daily. Never spend the weekend on the TV or with your friends only. By making it a habit to spend quality time together each weekend, you will grow closer and have a lot more in common to talk about.
7. It is very important that you "never go to bed angry", this might be hard sometimes, but it is vital. If you let your anger boil long enough it will be much harder to resolve the problem and you will be trying to avoid it with leaving the house or going to bed.
Learning to agree to disagree if you have to will help in keeping the peace. But this is only working if you are really honest with yourself and you are sure that its OK to agree to disagree, specifically when it is a smaller problem. This helps you in not wasting time by being angry about small things.
8. It is OK to admit you are wrong. If you are wrong, admit it. Being proud doesn't help you achieving your goals and it will not support you to a great marriage either.
There are always individual differences in a relationship, but it is definitely possible to live together in a harmonic way. Keep doing the above mentioned things and make sure you have worked out any problem before going to bed.
Love and cherish each other. Build a strong bond by being loving and honest with each other. This will help you to make your marriage work.
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By Elke Neher
A great marriage is always something you will have to work at. And it is not only you. Both of the partners need to be willing to work at it. You will need lots of tender loving care to keep your relationship fresh and exciting. The chances that your relationship will be able to survive are a lot higher if both of you are ready to give and receive.
8 Tips on how to make your marriage work:
1. Learn how to communicate effectively. It doesn't matter if you just got married or if it has been a long time since you two started out - this will build a strong relationship. Always listen carefully to your partner and try to be able to comprehend what they are telling you. While talking to each other, give full attention to the conversation. It will help you greatly to understand them, when you are looking each other in the eyes when having a conversation. It is not enough to just listen to them. Always reveal through your behavior that you have clearly understood everything said.
2. Do not make the mistake to assume that you know how your partner thinks about something. It doesn't mean if you like to do something, that they want to do it with you. Ask them! Don't automatically assume they volunteer to do something with you, that you would like. Ask them first! Never forget to be so thoughtful to see if they would like to do it.
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3. Compliment them when you see them doing something nice. When you see him/her doing something nice, tell them - I got you! Then proceed to thank them for doing such a wonderful thing and tell them how much you appreciate it. Showing thankfulness will give your relationship an amazing boost. When you make the effort of showing your partner that they make you happy with something, you will be finding that they will repeat doing nice things.
4. Is there something that you both enjoy doing? Then do it at least one time a week together. Go to the cinema, take a course together, go walking, swimming of whatever you like. Find any interests that you can share and do these things often.
5. Be the best friend of your partner. Cheer them on when they are working toward something they want. Hold their hand when they need it and give them a shoulder to cry on. Reveal your dreams to them, share your goals and try to work together. Let them know you are proud of them when they accomplish goals.
6. Never neglect your partner. Don't get so wrapped up in your own life that you completely forget the everyday niceties. Hug and kiss them daily. Never spend the weekend on the TV or with your friends only. By making it a habit to spend quality time together each weekend, you will grow closer and have a lot more in common to talk about.
7. It is very important that you "never go to bed angry", this might be hard sometimes, but it is vital. If you let your anger boil long enough it will be much harder to resolve the problem and you will be trying to avoid it with leaving the house or going to bed.
Learning to agree to disagree if you have to will help in keeping the peace. But this is only working if you are really honest with yourself and you are sure that its OK to agree to disagree, specifically when it is a smaller problem. This helps you in not wasting time by being angry about small things.
8. It is OK to admit you are wrong. If you are wrong, admit it. Being proud doesn't help you achieving your goals and it will not support you to a great marriage either.
There are always individual differences in a relationship, but it is definitely possible to live together in a harmonic way. Keep doing the above mentioned things and make sure you have worked out any problem before going to bed.
Love and cherish each other. Build a strong bond by being loving and honest with each other. This will help you to make your marriage work.
You can make some money in www.massivegold.com
By Elke Neher
Save a Marriage Before It's Too Late With a Special Approach
You can save a marriage before it dissolves into divorce. In fact, you can do what it takes to rebuild your relationship even if only one spouse is interested in the process. If you want to stop a divorce, you just need to use a special approach. A simple re-visualization of the way marriage works is the key.
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Most of us look at marriage as a team activity. That makes sense, it is a partnership, after all. However, that "team" perspective often gets in the way of saving marriages from divorce. Countless marriages that could have been saved end up destroyed because people fail to understand that a different way of looking at problems can produce awesome results.
Instead of thinking about marriage as two people trying to lift a big rock, start thinking about a teeter-totter. I know it sounds strange, but follow me for a moment.
If you need to lift that big rock, both people will need to get a grip. Both will need to lift at the same time. Both will need to put forth a magnificent effort. If one person fails to do his or her part, nothing will be accomplished.
Now, think of a teeter-totter (some people call it a see-saw). Let's say your goal is to balance that teeter-totter. Now, you can do that if the persons on both sides make an effort to equalize their weight, but there's also an opportunity to accomplish the goal if only person takes action. One person can change the weight or pressure on their side of the see-saw, resolving the problem.
I know what you're thinking: What in the world does this have to do with saving my marriage? Good question!
The point of this metaphor is simply this: Your marriage is a teeter-totter. That means you can take action to balance it even if your partner doesn't it. If you want to salvage your relationship, you can. You can save a marriage even when your spouse doesn't seem ready to do his or her share of the work. Once you understand that, you're halfway home to a much better marriage.
If the metaphor isn't clear to you yet, don't worry. It will be. If you do a little more homework about the best way to stop a divorce, things will become even more clear!
Your relationship is not doomed. Even if you're the only one interested in making things work, you can save your marriage.
By following a smart, professional and proven plan designed to effectively stop divorce, you can make your marriage stronger and better than it has ever been!
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By Syd McKeever
Before you continue, you can branch www.massivegold.com to make some passive income.
Most of us look at marriage as a team activity. That makes sense, it is a partnership, after all. However, that "team" perspective often gets in the way of saving marriages from divorce. Countless marriages that could have been saved end up destroyed because people fail to understand that a different way of looking at problems can produce awesome results.
Instead of thinking about marriage as two people trying to lift a big rock, start thinking about a teeter-totter. I know it sounds strange, but follow me for a moment.
If you need to lift that big rock, both people will need to get a grip. Both will need to lift at the same time. Both will need to put forth a magnificent effort. If one person fails to do his or her part, nothing will be accomplished.
Now, think of a teeter-totter (some people call it a see-saw). Let's say your goal is to balance that teeter-totter. Now, you can do that if the persons on both sides make an effort to equalize their weight, but there's also an opportunity to accomplish the goal if only person takes action. One person can change the weight or pressure on their side of the see-saw, resolving the problem.
I know what you're thinking: What in the world does this have to do with saving my marriage? Good question!
The point of this metaphor is simply this: Your marriage is a teeter-totter. That means you can take action to balance it even if your partner doesn't it. If you want to salvage your relationship, you can. You can save a marriage even when your spouse doesn't seem ready to do his or her share of the work. Once you understand that, you're halfway home to a much better marriage.
If the metaphor isn't clear to you yet, don't worry. It will be. If you do a little more homework about the best way to stop a divorce, things will become even more clear!
Your relationship is not doomed. Even if you're the only one interested in making things work, you can save your marriage.
By following a smart, professional and proven plan designed to effectively stop divorce, you can make your marriage stronger and better than it has ever been!
You can make minimum of $50 daily in www.richempire.com
By Syd McKeever
Friday, 6 June 2008
Sexual Fulfillment
When you married, you and your spouse promised to be faithful to each other for life. You agreed to be each other's only sexual partner. You made this commitment because you trusted each other to meet your sexual needs, to be sexually available and responsive to each other. The emotional need for sex, then, is a very exclusive emotional need. If you have this need, you will be very dependent on your spouse to meet it. You have no other ethical choices.
But in most marriages, one spouse, usually the husband, has a much greater need for sex than the other. This tends to create a significant conflict if his need is not being met as often as he would like or the way he would like it to be met. That's why it is very important for you and your spouse to understand which one of you has the greatest need for sex, and how you can meet that need frequently and effectively for each other. Without that understanding and skill, you are likely to join the majority of marriages where the need for sex is not being adequately met.
Most people know whether or not they have a need for sex, but in case there is any uncertainty, I will point out some of the most obvious symptoms.
A sexual need usually pre-dates your relationship with each other, and is somewhat independent of your relationship. While you may have discovered a deep desire to make love to your spouse since you've been in love, it isn't quite the same thing as a sexual need. Wanting to make love when you are in love is sometimes merely a reflection of wanting to be emotionally and physically close.
However, one dead give-away for having a sexual need is sexual fantasies. If you have imagined what it would be like having your sexual need met in the most fulfilling ways, you probably have a sexual need. The more the fantasy is employed, the greater your need. And the way your sexual need is met in your fantasy is usually a good indicator of your sexual predispositions and orientation.
The need for sex and the need for affection are often confused with one another. To help you sort them out, think of it this way: affection is an act of love (hugging, kissing, hand-holding, etc.) that is non-sexual and can be shared with friends, relatives, children and even pets with absolutely no sexual intent. However, if your affection tends to have a sexual motive, it is a symptom of your need for sex, not your need for affection.
If you tend to feel happy and contented when you make love, and you feel frustrated when you don't make love often enough or the way you want to make love, you have a need for sexual fulfillment.
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Teaching Marriage And Relationship
I was raised in a Germanic tradition of "no pain, no gain." Many, if not most, of my childhood achievements were accomplished through personal sacrifice and hard work. During my adolescence and then later as an adult, I applied the same rule of personal sacrifice to almost every goal I had. Without a doubt, if I had not forced myself to work long and hard, I would not have amounted to much. And that's the story of most people who have achieved their personal objectives -- they must work for it.
My approach to achievement made me a natural coach. From my high school days right up to the present, I have been coaching people to do whatever it takes to be successful. Whether the goal is mastery of academic subjects, physical conditioning, career development or ... marriage, I have tried to help people understand that they can have what they want, if they are willing to work for it.
In my ten years of teaching psychology and statistics (1967-1977), I gave every student a chance to earn an A, but they had to earn it. Tests were given on every lecture and reading assignment, and students could retake them until they had a perfect score (a different test was given on each retake). Free tutoring was available to students who were having trouble learning the material. My goal was for each student to learn all of the material I presented. I did not want students to be satisfied with a B grade, because it meant that they had missed something that I felt was important.
Students usually reported that they spent more time studying for my classes than they did studying for all their other classes combined. For many of them, the A grade they earned from me was the only one they had received in college up to that point. But after learning how to study for an A, from then on, they earned A's in many other classes. They discovered that the time and effort they spent studying was proportional to the grades they received, and so their grades improved as their overall commitment to study improved.
The approach I used to help students succeed in my psychology courses proved successful in achieving other personal objectives, as well. I helped scores of overweight people lose weight and keep it off. I helped hundreds of alcoholics stop drinking and smokers stop smoking. I did it all with plans that were proven to be successful if people were willing to follow them. My job, as their coach, was to provide the plan, and then motivate them to follow it. And in most cases I was motivating people to follow a plan they really didn't want to follow.
Whether it's getting an A in a psychology course, losing weight, giving up smoking, or having a great marriage, the plan that achieves your personal objectives is usually something that you would rather not do, and that's why a coach can be so important. The coach's job is "getting players to do what they don't want to do so they can be the kind of players they always wanted to be" (Tom Landry, former coach of the Dallas Cowboys).
Marital fulfillment was one of the many personal objectives I tried to help people achieve in my earlier days as a psychologist. Once in a while a couple would come to me on the verge of divorce, and I would try to steer them toward a happy marriage. My problem, at first, was that I did not have an effective plan to offer -- even when they did what I suggested, almost all the couples I tried to help eventually divorced! So I took courses and read existing books and articles about strategies for improving marriage. I even hired a well-respected marital therapist to guide me toward an effective counseling procedure.
But much to my disappointment, the courses, books, articles and even the mentor did not offer me a plan that even tried to improve marriages. Much of what I learned was to help couples make the most of their upcoming and inevitable divorce! There was almost a deliberate effort to demonstrate that the couple should never have married in the first place, and that divorce was their best choice for future happiness and fulfillment.
At that time, the devastating effects of divorce on children were not understood, and counselors were telling couples that their children would do better after their divorce because they would not be subjected to all of the fighting that was going on. No one seemed interested in teaching the couple to STOP FIGHTING!
In fact, teaching the couple anything was frowned upon by my mentor. It was his opinion that the role of a counselor was to help couples gain insight, make their own decisions, and take responsibility for those decisions. That way, the counselor was off the hook for failing to do what he was hired to do -- save the marriage. He couldn't be held responsible for being ill-equipped to do what he was being paid to do.
Of course, since counselors in those days really didn't have any effective plans to save a marriage, their fall-back position of having couples do all their own planning made sense. But they should have told clients that they didn't really know what they were doing. Instead, to justify their fee, they rested on the belief that a counselor was incredibly arrogant to suggest a plan to a couple, and then coach the couple through that plan. They deceived themselves into believing that the moral way to counsel was to let the innate wisdom of the couple come to the rescue. No one was rescued, but at least the counselor felt morally justified in charging a fee.
When I finally came to the realization that marriages could not be saved by this popular approach to marriage counseling, I broke ranks and started to create my own plan based on my marriage counseling experience. Much of what I learned about saving marriages came right from the mouths of the couples whose marriages I was trying to save. I would tell them in advance that I had not yet figured out how to save marriages, and wouldn't charge them for my help. But if they were willing to work with me, maybe we could figure it out together. Then we would create a plan and try it out to see if it would work. The most effective plans were fine-tuned, and what you see today on this Marriage BuildersοΎ® site is the result of all that trial and error.
There is still plenty of fine-tuning ahead, but the basic concepts that helped create these effective plans are proven to be true every day. Now it's only a matter of motivating couples to follow the plans. And that's where marriage coaching can become an important part of saving marriages.
When a couple first came to my office, one of my goals was to help them identify and meet each other's most important emotional needs so that they could deposit enough love units to fall in love with each other. But my goal and their goal was very different.
When I first started encouraging couples to meet each other's emotional needs, at least one spouse was usually in the state of withdrawal, which meant that he or she did not want their emotional needs to be met, and they certainly did not want to meet their spouse's emotional needs. Even if both spouses were in the state of conflict where they were willing to have their own needs met, they were not willing to meet the other spouse's emotional needs (unless it was also their own need that was being met). Since almost all the spouses I saw were either in the state of withdrawal or in the state of conflict, most were not interested in following my plan.
That's where my job as a marriage coach began -- to motivate couples to do what they didn't want to do so they could have the kind of marriage they wanted to have. I coached them into meeting each other's emotional needs at a time that they didn't feel like doing it. Granted, it often required a bit of house cleaning first to remove some of the biggest obstacles to following the rule, such as angry outbursts, disrespectful judgments and selfish demands. But in the end, if my coaching was successful, they would actually meet each other's emotional needs, and that usually started them on the road to marital recovery.
I had similar problems motivating couples to follow the Policy of Joint Agreement (never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse). When a couple considers each other's feelings before making decisions, the end result is thoughtfulness which protects the feelings of both spouse. The alternative, of course, is thoughtlessness, where one spouse gains at the other spouse's expense.
As a marriage coach, I tried to motivate couples to take each other's feelings into account with every decision they would make. But for many of the couples I saw, it was as if I was trying to take away their "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." They felt that freedom meant freedom to trample over the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness of their spouses. Even couples who finally agreed with me on the wisdom of my plan, found following it to be one of the greatest challenges of their lives. Asking their spouses how they felt about something before the decision was made seemed foreign and out of place. Yet, as they practiced following the Policy of Joint Agreement, it became increasingly natural and spontaneous. Eventually they learned to protect each other from their selfish behavior, because they forced themselves to get into the habit of being considerate.
The Policy of Radical Honesty and the Policy of Undivided Attention, are also rules that most couple do not feel like following when they have lost their love for each other. When love is lost, it's extremely difficult to do what's right in marriage.
Historically, marriage counseling doesn't begin with a plan, nor does it try to motivate couples do what they don't want to do. But marriage coaching does. That's why it succeeds where marriage counseling fails.
Can you resolve your conflicts and restore love to your marriage without a coach?
I created the Marriage Builders® website to help couples who don't need a coach as much as they need an effective plan. The plan I offer saves marriages if couples will simply follow it. There are many who lose weight, stop smoking, improve their career skills, get out of debt, and achieve a host of other personal objectives without the encouragement of a coach. All they need is a plan that works. Similarly, there are many couples who restore love to their marriages without a coach -- they simply follow my plan.
But there is a big difference between achieving personal objectives and achieving marital objectives. Personal objectives require only one person to be in agreement with the plan, while marital objectives require the agreement of two people. If you want a successful marriage, both you and your spouse must agree on the plan, and then you must both follow it.
Most of the couples I've seen consist of one spouse who is willing to do what's necessary to improve the marriage, and the other who isn't. This is especially true for a couple going through the tragedy of an affair. For these couples, an effective plan is not enough. These couples need a coach -- someone who will motivate them to do something they should do, but do not want to do.
You can be the judge whether or not you need a coach for your marriage. I have created a plan for your marriage that will work if you both follow it. But if one or both of you are not willing to follow the plan, then you may need a coach to achieve what will be one of the most important objectives of your life -- to have a fulfilling marriage.
In the last newsletter, my article was entitled, "How to create your own plan to resolve conflicts and restore love to your marriage." I encourage you to read that article and create that plan. Then try to follow the plan until you and your spouse are in love with each other. But if you cannot agree on a plan, or if you can't motivate yourselves to follow the plan, then you may need a coach to help you do what you don't feel like doing.
In selecting a coach, be sure that you choose someone who is familiar with my approach to restoring love in marriage, and someone who will help you follow the plan. A simple telephone call to local marriage counselors will help you determine who is a marriage coach and who is merely a marriage counselor. If you cannot find anyone locally that passes the test, I suggest that you try the coaching we provide by telephone. Appointments can be made by calling our toll-free number, 1-888-639-1639, or visiting the Marriage Builders® Counseling Center section of our web site
I've found that the majority of couples do not need a marriage coach. They can learn to resolve their conflicts and restore love to their marriages without any outside help as long as they have a plan that works and motivation to follow the plan. I've provided you with that plan, now all you need is the motivation. But if either you or your spouse lack that motivation, don't go through the rest or your life with a loveless marriage, or worse yet, end it with divorce. Instead, get the help you need to do the right thing when you don't feel like doing it.
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